he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Couch. On fire.
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