# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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