id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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