Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize