She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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