I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
