We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
