I'm lost and stupid without you.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
