Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm bleeding and have questions
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
