It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
