Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
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