The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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