from now on my penis is your penis
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
