I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
