You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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