I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
