Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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