Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
we're so committed to being not committed
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize