Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
