Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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