my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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