It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
