scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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