so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
