I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
