She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
