hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize