Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
