How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
