i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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