we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
