I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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