Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize