HIV tests are more positive than that guy
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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