dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She bit a glass in half.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's rum buckets o'clock
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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