Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
