Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
