i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
