Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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