Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
