I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
