I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
