She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
