But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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