just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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