i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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