Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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