roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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