sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
