im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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