i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
