Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize