Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
