my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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