"it" just moved
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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