I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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