my phone cant type all the emotion im having
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
