I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
