Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
