Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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